


On #5 Privet Drive

by HecatesKiss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 04:10:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16211126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HecatesKiss/pseuds/HecatesKiss
Summary: Married, Severus and Harry move into 5 Privet Drive and make their neighbors life a living hell.





	1. A New Start

**Author's Note:**

> Since both Kayla and Rachel asked for this…. ladies?

Harry yawned and stretched. His bed partner grumbled and snagged the covers back. Harry mumbled as he pushed out of bed and stumbled into the washroom, wand idly shoved into the waistband of his sleep trousers. He used the facilities, washed his hands and face and then remembered to accio his glasses. 

He heard a squeak and poked his head around the doorjamb. “Oops, Sorry, Dobby.”

“Morning Harry Prince, Sir! Wills you and Master Prince be wantings breakfast before the movers arrive?” Dobby chirped, obviously over the fact Harry’s glasses had gone flying off the bedside table.

“Yes please, Dobby. Is everything except this room packed?” Severus growled, head buried under the pillows.

“Of course, Master Prince. I has tea for you, on the table, sir.” Dobby chirped before he snapped his fingers and vanished. Harry watched his husband sit up with a growl and rub at his shoulder. Harry waited as Severus buckled on his wand holster and slid the ebony stick into it’s space on his arm. Harry then passed him the cup of tea. Harry buckled on his own wand holster and transferred it from the waist of his sleep trousers.

“Ready?” Severus asked, sleep clearing from his voice, leaving it smooth as the caffeine hit his system.

“I’ve always wanted to get out of this house. Too many memories.” Harry said. Both men turned when Kreacher popped in holding a single breakfast tray. Harry stifled a smile at the selections on the tray. The elf set the food down and popped away.

Harry snagged his plate and waited for Severus to finish his tea before they got to discussing what the plan for the day was. As Severus set down his cup and took up his fork, Harry bit into his sausage and gravy filled pie.

“Those are disgusting.” Severus muttered. Harry swallowed and grinned.

“But they taste amazing, and are quick.” Harry said. Severus shook his head and forked up fruit and cream.

“I tend to see you finishing one of those pies right before you race out the door.”

“Not my fault that some moron decides its a good idea to breed crups to pugs and then unleash them on unsuspecting muggles. I’ve had three cases of that this month.” Harry muttered with a shrug as he licked his fingers clean and then took the napkin that Kreacher popped in with. He wiped his hands off, nodded and smirked most of the bedroom furniture that they didn’t need vanished down to the ground floor.

“No, how are you dealing with Arthur?”

“Well enough. We’re getting closer. Of course, I’m also dealing with somebody who crossed a platypus and a niffler. The little critters are adorable, they just go completely batshite on seeing gold or silver or really any type of coin.” Harry shook his head and brushed a hand through his hair.

“It does explain why your robes were ripped at the pockets... did one crawl in, or were you trying to smuggle it out?”

“Err… remember that gold watch chain Hermione and Ron got me our last anniversary? It was hanging out.”

“That does seem to be your luck, Mr. Prince.” Severus drawled, faint smile turning up the corners of his mouth as he sipped at his second cup of tea and Harry started on his first.

“Mmhm. So, gas, electric and water all hooked up?”

“And rubbish collection and the floo.” Severus agreed as he set his tray aside and rose from the bed. Harry let his eyes skim over the pale chest, only briefly pausing on the scars that trailed across the side of his throat. Harry licked his lips as he traced the fine dark hair that started at his husband’s navel and vanished into his black silk sleep shorts.

“Later, love.” Severus murmured as he reached for a pair of faded blue denims and a white tee shirt. He drew on a deep green button down shirt, which he left open. Harry hummed as Severus slid grey socks over his long toed feet and then pulled on a pair of scuffed dark brown penny loafers.

Harry nodded and slipped out of his sleep clothing, tossing it idly towards the hamper. He hopped as he tugged on black socks, then black jeans and a bright red tee. He paused and grinned.

“Hey, Severus? Do you still have that bottle of hair growth potion?”

“Yes?” Severus asked as he turned around, eyebrow arching.

“Well… since we’ve done everything through the Black’s solicitors, nobody at the new place has ever seen either of us.”

“And you want long hair, why?” Severus inquired.

“Well, I still know that braid spell that Hermione found so useful during _that_ year.”

“That still fails to explain why you want to grow your hair long…” Severus trailed off and pressed his lips together.

“Privet Drive means Aunt Petunia. And a bunch of “ladies” just like her. None of them know that _we_ are moving in.” Harry grinned. Severus understood and reached into his bedside table and tossed Harry the potion.

Harry downed the vial in a swallow and tipped his head back. Harry blinked and smiled as his hair slid from collar length down to the waist of his denims. Harry squeaked when Severus summoned his brush and stepped up behind his husband.

Harry hummed as Severus trailed the brush through his dark hair and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before he turned away. Harry pulled his wand and muttered the braid spell. He snickered when Severus tossed him a simple black tie. Harry tied off the braid and flicked it over his shoulder.

“Shall we?” Severus asked as the sheets and blankets vanished and the bed broke itself apart and shrank. Harry stepped into his dragon hide boots and nodded. He took his husband’s non-wand hand and slipped out of the Master Bedroom at Grimmauld Place. He was fiercely glad to be leaving the bad memories behind.


	2. In Which Normal is Key

Mrs. Petunia Dursley was grateful to be back in her own kitchen, on her own street where very little ever changed. She and Vernon had managed to get Dudley into a good uni after her sister's son had done whatever had been needed to get rid of that vile freak that had killed her sister. 

Petunia rarely thought of the turbulent years when Harry had lived with them. Now, the street was quiet and perfectly normal. The Ashe’s had moved out of Number 5 and the Clarkson Realty sign had gone up right on schedule after the last box had been whisked away. 

Barely three days later the “sold” sign had been slapped onto the top of the blue realty sign. Mrs. Parker in Number 2 had managed to find out that the buyer’s last name was Prince and yes, the man was married, a retired Professor of Chemistry.

Petunia peered through the lounge curtains as a lorry pulled up in front of Number 5. She shook her head as a young woman stepped out of the truck and glided up to the door. Petunia wrinkled her nose. The girl was clad in jeans and a long black coat. She also couldn’t be a day over twenty-five. Petunia hated her on sight. Her husband was probably one of _those_ types, preying on former students or heavens forbid, a secretary. 

Petunia nodded grudgingly to herself as the woman stood with crossed arms and simple gestures as the moving men placed boxes under the other woman’s gaze and gestures. She frowned as a battered brown leather chair was hauled out of the truck. It was awful, and worn. She saw the young woman purse her lips, glasses catching the weak light. Apparently she liked it no better.

Her gestures were quick and sharp as she directed the men, stepping into the doorway to call an instruction after the person. Petunia nodded. Perhaps the woman would fit in here after all. Even if her husband had hideous taste in chairs.

The sofa, table and chairs that came out next were all sturdy, clean lined and in a sensible pale gold. The table was a light wood and glass thing. She sniffed. Perhaps it was time to talk to Vernon about getting a new coffee table.

She remained at her post, observing. She shook her head when the girl merely checked off box after box from a sheet of paper in her hand, pen moving quickly over the page. Apparently she was organized. Petunia was leaning more towards secretary. She pulled back from the window when those glasses caught the light again. It wouldn’t do to be actually _caught_ spying.

She saw the side curtains on Number 7 flutter. Nosey Mr. Lombardy was probably checking out the young girl. Poor thing. Served her right for wearing _that_. A proper dress would have mitigated Lombardy from staring. Somewhat. Maybe. Petunia frowned and thought about that for a moment. No, nothing really would stop that man from staring. It was rather unsettling if one stopped to think about it long enough. She prefered not to.

Petunia leaned forward again as a headboard was pulled from the lorry. Heavy iron from the look, good quality and older. Petunia pursed her lips. That sort of thing just _told_ a discerning person things. And what that told her was that Mrs. Prince’s husband probably did all sorts of things that were not spoken of in polite company. Petunia wondered what Mrs. Kantz from Number 3 would say about such a headboard. She couldn’t be the only one thinking about it with a headboard like _that_ going into the house.

The rest of the parts of the bed went into the house, followed by a sleigh bed and then a third, just a simple head and footboard, curved wood, plain. She watched dressers, each obviously matched to a room trundle out next, followed by boxes and then came a square kitchen table in bright red formica. She sniffed. That sort of _eyesore_ had gone out of style in the 1970s.

Petunia frowned as simple red metal chairs came out of the lorry followed by a stack of red cushions. She grimaced. One of _those_ kitchens then. She shook her head as the woman traipsed up the ramp and vanished into the lorry. A Lady’s place was not to get her hands dirty with moving. Apparently she was too dim to figure that out, but… with a husband like Prince was sure to be… Petunia sighed and shook her head.

The girl flicked her braid back over her shoulder and balanced a box, it’s lid open. Petunia snorted as she spotted a red kettle perched on the top of the box. Oh, it would certainly be one of _those_ kitchens. Charmingly retro. She grimaced.

Then a blanket wrapped table was trundled out on a dolly. Followed by three stacks of chairs. The chairs were finely crafted, queen anne but in dark wood. It was gorgeous And the cloth was a green. Beautiful. She was instantly jealous. The woman had amazing taste. 

A matching sideboard followed, and then boxes of china. Petunia huffed. Apparently it might be worth while to be invited to a dinner party, if the girl’s ability to decorate, kitchen notwithstanding, was any indication.

Petunia frowned at the late model car that turned into the drive of Number 5. It was well maintained and a coupe. It was a deep green and gleamed under a fresh coat of wax. She sniffed. It was obviously a well tended car. The door opened. Long legs unfolded from within the vehicle. She blinked. Tall and thin was her first assessment. She frowned. The man seemed to be stern. He shook out his long grey coat with a glance around. She watched the man give the vehicle a fond pat before he strolled over to the young woman and placed a quick kiss on her lips. Petunia’s eyes narrowed. This was obviously Mr. Prince.

Petunia sniffed as Mrs. Prince stroked a bit of loose hair behind her husband’s ear. She shook her head when the man started to take a box from the young woman and stepped around him. Ah. That sort. At least the man was a gentleman. Perhaps cradle robbing, but a gentleman never-the-less.

The pair seemed to work in tandem, never tripping over the other, boxes shuttled quickly into the home along with a desk and bookcases. Once the last box for one room was finished, she didn’t see the Missus again. Obviously the woman was going to try and settle the house. Mr. Prince took over directing the workmen, pointing in various directions from the doorway.

Petunia figured it would be safe enough now and eased open one of the Lounge windows.

“-- careful with that! Or Harri will have your heads, and mine as well.”

His voice was smooth, words precise. Words almost bitten off in their precision. She shook her head when a quick grab saved a garment bag from the mud. The workman ducked his head and hastened into the house. 

Petunia hummed as she made lunch, simple sandwiches. She frowned as she realized she’d made enough tuna salad sandwiches to have fed both Vernon and Dudley. She arranged the extras onto a plate covered it in cling wrap and checked her outfit as she pulled off her apron. This would be a _perfect_ way to meet the new neighbors.


	3. Ex-Convicts and Former Professorships

Severus glanced up as the door to Number 4 opened. He shook his head slightly and slipped into the house, calling for Harry who was balanced on a chair putting away crisp white plates in a cupboard that had been redone in stark white with red countertops. Severus rolled his eyes but said nothing about the colour scheme. Harry put up the last plate and then reached down for the red coffee mugs.

“Love? Your aunt is coming over. She has a plate of something.”

Harry slid off the chair and chuckled, nimble fingers setting the coffee mugs onto their proper hooks. “Oh good. How shocking do we want to be?”

Severus merely grinned and wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist. Harry groaned into the kiss and nipped which caused Severus to growl. They broke apart and Harry’s eyes were glowing in happiness.

“This is our home. We can always shift wards around so that she can’t get in.” Severus murmured. Harry nodded and stepped away. Harry turned to the range as the kettle whistled. Harry sighed and levitated five mugs down.

“I’ll get the door.” Severus said with a smirk. Harry nodded. Harry swiped his braid back over his shoulder and carried the mugs over to the table where the two workmen nibbled on the shortbread cookies and gratefully took the mugs of strong tea. Harry returned to the range and peered at the chicken noodle soup he had simmering on the stove.

“Thank you, Mrs. Dursley. These are most welcome. Sorry about the mess, just moved in, you see. Harry’s most likely in the kitchen.” Severus said. Harry squelched a grin as he caught the faint timber of suppressed amusement in his husband’s voice.

“Oh, you’ve re-painted already. The Ashe’s had an ugly blue in the front hall. Cream really opens up the space. And what a lovely rug.” 

Harry shook his head faintly. He heard jealousy in her voice. He knew it from his time under the stair. The Ashe’s had always done a Privet House better than she had. She’d bitched about their dining room, calling it pretentious. Harry was almost certain she was puce with indignation when she saw _their_ set go in. He knew she’d been watching. Along with Mrs. Next Door from Number 2 and the Lombardy man.

Harry turned and watched the woman he hadn’t seen in nearly five years step into his kitchen. He wiped his hands on the cherry red towel and fixed his polite public smile into place. “Sev? Dinner should be ready right on time. I can wait to put in the wheat bread you love so much.”

Harry watched as Petunia Dursley went pale, mouth dropping open as the plate of wrapped sandwiches slipped through her fingers. Harry waved a hand, saving the food and letting the plate -- pale blue with the silver border and obviously from the “second best set”-- hit the crisp white tiles and shatter with a crash.

“You!”

“Hello Aunt Petunia. Thank you for bringing us some sandwiches. That was very nice of you.” Harry set the towel down and unwrapped the sandwiches as Severus slid his wand from beneath his suit jacket and repaired the plate with a simple flick of his wrist. The plate floated onto the counter and rested there.

“This is… outrageous. You told the realty agent you were married.” Petunia hissed. Harry glanced at the workmen and subtly shook his head when one fingered a wand and stared at Petunia.

“Because, in the Wizarding World, we _are_ , Tuney.” Severus said as he stepped around the shaking woman and wrapped an arm around his spouse.

“Unnatural freaks!” She hissed. Harry’s smile was nothing pleasant. “All of you, every last one of you are perverted and sick!”

“No, ma’am. They are war heroes. Without them, even you’d have been bowing down to that mad bloody wanker.” One of the workmen snarled. Severus stepped away from his husband, knowing that not touching Harry was the best way for them both to maintain their tempers.

“He was only interested in that bespeckled little freak, not good, honest, hardworking people like Vernon and my Dudders!”

“Tuney, Tuney, Tuney. _You_ have never been good or honest or even hardworking. You hated your sister, despised her for the gift she had. You passed that hatred onto her son. If it weren’t for my vows to my husband, you would be dead where you stand. You should be _thanking_ him, you harridan. Not cursing his name. Without him you’d have been dead years ago.” Severus snarled. The lights flickered. Harry leaned across the counter and placed a hand on his arm even as he shook his head in warning.

Severus drew a deep breath and nodded. “Misters Nott and Ralston, I thank you for your care and due diligence.” 

“We were happy to, Professor sir.” Theo Nott said as he stood from the table after draining his mug.

“Theo’s right. You two are war heroes. Didn’t mind moving you at all, polite, respectful like. Right fine pair of blokes.” Sam Ralston said, brushing his blond hair back and tugging his cap down.

“Sirs. Ma’am.” Theo said, shaking Severus’ and then Harry’s hand. Harry and Severus both hid smiles as the workmen’s hands went immediately from shaking to into a pocket. Harry waited until the two men from Malfoy Movers had left.

“How much did you slip them?” Harry asked with a grin as he levitated the used mugs with a wave of his hand. He set them to washing with another wave. Petunia sucked in a breath.

“Five galleons each. You?”

“The same. Made off like bandits, and with me endorsing Draco’s business, that’ll help. I mean, if the Man-Who-Destroyed trusts Malfoy Movers to transport his stuff… so should everyone else.” Harry grinned.

“Yes, everyone should trust a group of ex-convicts to move their items.” Severus grimaced and rubbed at his left arm for a moment.

“I married one.” Harry said. Severus snorted.

“Yes, ex-convict, convicted murderer, ex-headmaster and ex-professor.”

“Also ex-Death Eater. Never a former Slytherin though. The Hat wanted me there too. I couldn’t stop the initial sentencing. But I _did_ argue for your Snakes. Every last one of them is out. I only _didn’t_ argue for the actual Death Eaters. Being Slytherin does not automatically mean Death Eater, damn it.” The lights flickered for a moment and Harry closed his eyes as he drew a breath.

“You and Ms. Granger argued that quite passionately. You did get every last one of them out. However, the stigma will linger.” Severus muttered, fingers falling away from his arm as he balled his hand into a fist.

“I won’t have it said, Severus.” Harry snarled, the argument old ground. 

“Well, it will keep some of the neighbors away, Tuney, go ahead and look crazy. They won’t believe you. There are no records of any of that, well, other than the Professorship.” Severus said, turning to the woman who was still gaping at them, clad in a bright yellow dress that looked so out of place in Harry’s red and white kitchen.

“Like I said, freak. And probably a drunkard too, like both your fathers before you.” Her voice was shrill. Severus frowned.

“James Potter was not a drunkard. My father may have been, that much I will grant you. However, Harry’s father died to protect him. I shall not have you besmirching that. You may leave, Petunia.” Severus’ voice was icy with rage. Harry shivered and gestured towards the door.

She snatched the plate from the glossy counter and swirled away. Harry snorted as the door shut neatly behind her.

“That actually went better than I was expecting.” Harry said, stretching his arms across the counter and letting his head rest on the glossy surface.

“Better?”

“Mmm.” Harry picked his head up off the counter. “Nothing blew up, nobody shouted, we didn’t hex her. I’d call that pretty close to perfect.”

“What would make it so?”

“Well, I know the bed is set up in our room.” Harry said. Severus hummed and held out his hand. Harry took it and allowed himself to be pulled up the stairs as Kreacher popped into the kitchen to watch over the soup that Harry had started.


	4. Interlude

Harry chuckled as he landed on the crisp white sheets. The dark blue comforter was already at the bottom of the bed. Harry suspected the elves had something to do with that. However that thought was driven from his head as Severus followed him down with a smirk, lips meeting in gentle kisses. Fingers threading together, Harry bent a leg and planted that foot before he used the leverage being on the bottom allowed him. He flipped them both, rolling Severus onto his back.

Severus frowned and Harry shifted so that he could trail kisses down Severus’ throat, paying careful attention to the extremely sensitive skin where the scars from Nagini’s bite remained. Severus shivered and groaned.

“Let me take care of you.” Harry breathed between kisses, fingers trailing across shirts and vanishing them with a touch. Severus sucked in a breath and squirmed as cool fingers caressed across his chest, skirting over scars as though they did not exist. Fingers trailed across a nipple, feather light in their brush. Severus whimpered. Harry smirked. Severus swallowed dryly.

Harry lowered his head and poked out his tongue. He licked at the nipple, tasting the faint peppery flavour that was Severus. His husband jerked under that slick touch. Harry hummed and did it again. A hand came up and fisted into his hair. Harry grinned and latched onto the pebbled nipple. Severus swore and his fingers tightened.

Harry’s hand skated over to the other nipple. Severus bucked. Harry suckled a time or two and nipped. Severus made a noise that had blood rushing south. Harry lifted his head and drew in a ragged breath. He loved that noise. Nobody else got to hear that, just him.

Glancing up, Harry smiled as he petted his thumb back and forth over a pert nipple, watching as his husband writhed under that simple touch. The man was so bloody sensitive. It thrilled him to know that this little bit of play had a severe, austere man as putty in his hands. Harry tweaked the nipple under his left hand and Severus cried out again.

“Stop teasing.. gods, Love. Please!” 

“But…” Harry murmured. Severus growled and Harry switched his attentions to the right nipple, licking and suckling. Severus groaned and his fingers tightened in Harry’s hair. 

When Harry pulled back, both nipples were pebbled and swollen red. Harry leaned forward and nipped. Severus bucked and made a noise that caught somewhere in the back of his throat. Harry dragged a hand down over his husband’s trousers. Both trousers and pants vanished, leaving Severus completely free of clothing while Harry was still fully dressed. Harry nipped again, giving both bits of flesh equal attention.

“Harry!” Severus gasped. Harry swiped an impatient hand down his own clothing and it melted away, equalizing the playing field. Harry yelped when strong hands curled, one at his shoulder, the other at his right hip. Severus flipped them and then his hands moved with lightning speed, twining their fingers together and pinning them above Harry’s head.

The kiss Severus gave Harry was achingly sweet. Harry moaned and opened his mouth. Severus’ tongue darted in and mapped out it’s claim. Harry retaliated by sucking on the lithe visitor. Severus bucked down against Harry. Harry groaned.

“Yes…” Harry breathed as the kiss broke. Severus smirked and gently scraped his teeth across Harry’s jaw and nipped at Harry’s neck, not hard enough to break the flesh, but to redden and sensitize. Harry sucked in a sharp breath. Severus nosed down to Harry’s collarbone and licked before he bit into Harry’s shoulder and sucked a mark into being.

Harry hissed and shivered, arms flexing as he jerked in his husband’s grasp. Severus shuddered and nipped at the tender flesh, eliciting another hiss. Severus pressed a kiss to the mark and then lifted his head. 

“Talk to me, Harry.” Severus breathed, dark eyes gleaming. Harry smirked and flexed his left hand. Severus blinked and shifted his grip so that Harry’s hands were pinned still by his right. He then brought his left arm around so that Harry could get a good look at the snake that still wrapped around the skull, even faded to a white scar.

Harry darted his tongue along his lips and drew in a breath. He had a standard test phrase, and Severus had heard him use it in both the serpent tongue and regular English. _”What exactly do you… want me to say… my sexy serpent?”_.

Harry knew his speech had switched into parseltongue by the way his husband’s pupils dilated and his breathing sped up. _“Do you want me to… describe what I … want to do to you? How I think you are the sexiest thing on two legs? How about I tell you exactly what I think of your hands? Hmm? I haven’t done that for … a while.”_

Severus moaned and lowered his lips to Harry’s neck. He nipped and sucked lightly, knowing exactly how much pressure it took to mark Harry. The younger man bucked and growled, but continued his speech.  
 _”Mine. My stunningly sexy Severus.”_ Harry breathed. The half choked noise he received at that made Harry smile. At first, the sound of his husband’s name in parseltongue had caused the man to flinch. Now it simply turned him on, fiercely so.

Harry gasped as teeth nipped a path back up his neck and then Severus paused on an earlobe, sucking almost frantically. Harry wriggled and swallowed. How the man expected him to… he started swearing, and Severus huffed out a breath and scrambled down, releasing Harry’s hands. Harry started to move them and then really started cursing. Severus had spelled his hands still.

The swearing became nothing more than mindless noises as Severus settled himself between his husband’s spread thighs and applied his mouth. Harry moaned and swore, gasping for breath. Firm hands kept his hips pinned to the bed.

Harry made a strangled noise as he was able to lever himself up just enough to get a glimpse. The invisible bonds at his wrists tugged. He fell back against the bed with a groan. Severus’ dark hair was fanned out in a wave, tickling along the soft skin on the inside of his thighs. He was no longer certain if he was speaking in English or the snake language. And frankly, he didn’t really care either… just so long as Severus kept _that_ up.

Severus lifted his head and Harry whimpered, eyes rolling back as hisses were interspersed with pleading noises. Then Severus blew across Harry’s flesh. Harry jerked and cried out, erection jumping from the stimulation. Severus dipped his head again and Harry groaned and then went back to cursing and pleading and making little whining noises.

He settled into a litany of Severus’ name said over and over, broken by curses as he twisted his hands and tried to work them loose. He could break the magical binding with a flex of his own magic, it wouldn’t hold against his greater strength. But he left it and thrashed, hands flexing. Harry swallowed and whimpered as Severus lifted his head again.

“You like this, don’t you?”

_“Bloody fucking hell! God, Severus… smug bastard! Please, oh fuck… please.”_ Harry moaned as cool air was blown across the tip. Severus purred, it was the only way Harry could think to describe the sound before he dipped his head again.

Severus very deliberately swallowed and then hummed. Harry arched, thigh muscles flexing, toes curling. His husband then bobbed his head and did it again. Harry swore and sucked in a shuddering gasp as he spilled, struck dumb by the sheer pleasure.

Harry blinked and groaned. Severus chuckled and crawled up Harry’s body. A brush of his fingers against Harry’s wrists freed them. Harry reached up and grabbed, fingers sliding into Severus’ hair. Harry kissed greedily, tongue probing. He whimpered when Severus pulled back. 

Severus paused and chuckled. “You look adorable like that.”

Harry reeled his tongue back into his mouth. “You mean I look like an idiot.”

“If you can call me your sexy serpent, I can decide when you are appearing adorable.” Severus argued. Harry glared. “You are only adorable for me. Besides, I love to listen to you curse in parseltongue, or when you just babble my name over and over...” 

Harry shivered and was once again aware of his husband’s hands as the man summoned the container of lubricant. Harry automatically snagged the jar as it drifted by. Severus smirked and flicked the top loose.

Harry breathed in the faint spicy sweet scent of bergamot and a hint of pepper. Harry watched, mesmerized as the jewel bright blue bottle was plucked from his hand. The inane thought that it looked like something that should rest on a lady’s vanity, and not tucked away in a drawer like a guilty little secret flitted through his head and then was gone in the next second as slicked fingers slid across his stomach, trailing along side the treasure trail that led from his navel. He hissed in a breath as fingers slid around the thatch of dark hair, tracing down his left leg.

Whining as those fingers teased over his tender sac and then groaning as the fingers dived beneath, he arched. Severus chuckled and pressed a kiss to the flat plane of his stomach as he slid down. 

Fingers delving into tight heat had Harry panting and squirming. He whined a bit as fingers twisted and targeted his prostate ruthlessly. Harry sighed when those fingers gentled and teased, toes flexing and cock jerking.

His husband pulled his fingers loose and Harry cursed, uncertain if it was in parseltongue or English. When Severus shuddered he realized it had been in the serpent’s language and then groaned as hard hands grabbed his legs, dragged them up, and his Husband was gliding into him in one firm, desperate thrust.

Harry keened and Severus panted, bodies both focused on desire and want, moving in tandem, chasing pleasure. Harry’s fingers tightened on his lover’s shoulders. Severus’ fingers left bruises on his hips and thighs as the thrusts became harsh, just the way Harry liked it.

Severus sealed their mouths together, to muffle his younger husband’s shout as he came. They lay together on their bed, panting, gentle fingers tracing through his dark hair as he smiled softly.

 

* * *   
Harry hummed and traced patterns on his Husband’s chest. Severus reached up and stopped his wandering fingers.

“Do you have the Lab set up?”

“Yes. I’ll be able to brew without problem in the basement.” Severus said. Harry smiled and pressed a kiss across the scar tissue on his husband’s throat. Severus shivered and lifted his shoulder to try and protect tender flesh. Harry chuckled and rolled from the bed.

“You know, I never thought I’d like it here. I mean, it’s Privet Drive.” Harry said, wrapping the sheet around his hips. He moved to the windows that looked over at the side of the Lombardy Home, Number 7. 

“You do like it?”

“As soon as Pansy told me about this place, I wanted it. I mean, it’s not like the Wizarding World would give us any peace. And who would honestly look for me here, where the entire world knew I hated it?” Harry asked. He leaned back into his husband as the older man wrapped an arm around him, chin resting comfortably in the wild nest of dark hair. 

“Very few would look for either of us here.” Severus agreed, pressing a quick kiss to the top of his lover’s head. Harry sighed.

“Aunt Petunia wouldn’t admit we are related. I think I can safely drop the words “aunt” and “uncle” from my vocabulary. She and I may be related by blood, but that would be it. She’s not family.” 

“It only took you five years to admit to it, love.”

“Hermione, Ron, and the rest of the Weasleys are my family. So are you, Severus. And Teddy.” Harry said as he turned around, Severus’ fingers wrapping around his braid and tugging his hair back. The kiss was gentle and Harry smiled.

“You are learning, Mr. Prince.” Severus murmured before he swished his wand and was once again dressed in muggle clothing. Harry smiled and then squeaked as Severus tugged on the sheet and it slid away.

“Severus!”

A soft kiss ghosted through his hair. “Go on, love. Shower. You have always been particular about being clean.”

Harry turned and stole a kiss before he smiled and slipped from their room and into the bath.

* * *  
Harry shook his head as he stepped from the shower. He knew Severus was already back in his lab. He dried his hair with a spell and then cast the other spell to braid it back. Harry slipped into a fresh pair of boxers, a pair of dark jeans and threw a Weird Sisters tee over his head. He then returned to the kitchen. Dobby popped in with a smile and a bow.

“All put aways Harry Prince, Sir.” Dobby chirped with a grin. Harry glanced down and hid his smile as he realized the pair of socks were one that Severus had gotten Dobby last christmas. One was white and had little green potion vials on it. The other sock was purple with black bats.

“All of it?”

“Of course, Harry Prince! Kreacher and I’s are good elfs. Can Dobby get you anything, sir?”

“Severus kicked you out of the lab, didn’t he?” Dobby’s ears lowered and he nodded his head. Harry sighed.

“Did you throw away Petunia’s sandwiches?”

“Of course, Harry sir. Nasty woman.”

“Agreed.” Harry said with a grin. He took the cup of tea from Dobby’s hand and settled at his red formica table, grinning. He’d seen the envy on Petunia’s face. He gazed around the space and felt a little proprietary thrill go through him. The kitchen was _his_. It was his in a way that Grimmauld never had been, not really. Harry smiled and sipped at his tea.

His head came up when a bell rang. He pushed to his feet, recognizing the tone as the one he’d set for the floo for work related calls. Harry hurried to the living room and knelt.

“Prince. Thank god. Got a 1237. Aurors don’t know what the hell to do.”

“On it Madam Margolies.” Harry said lifting a hand. His deep green Departmental robes fluttered into his hands. He slipped them on and tightened down fastenings with a grimace. He stepped into the dragonhide boots that came at a flick of his fingers even as he got the last fastening tied down with one hand.

“What are my co-ordinates, Ma’am?”

“You are apparating to Mark Trevane. You should be able to find him without issue.” His boss said, and Harry nodded. The floo went dead.

“Dobby!”

“Yes Harry Prince Sir?”

“Tell my husband work called. I’m dispatched. Creature removal case. I’ll do my best _not_ to get myself stepped on, singed, or eaten.” 

The little elf nodded, taking the message with a straight face. Harry sighed and stepped into the corner of the room both he and Severus had deliberately left clear of anything and everything. Harry turned on his heel and apparated, focused on finding Auror Mark Trevane.


	5. Hogwarty Hogwarts!

Harry landed exactly a meter to the left of Mark Trevane who flinched and then nodded when he realized it was a Department for the Control of Magical Creatures personnel. Harry quartered the room with a glance and then stepped over to the auror.

“Large creature removal. What is it, where is it, and where is Jensen?” Harry asked, completely professional.

“It’s big, through that door… and Tom’s puking his guts out around the corner. Whatever poor sod owned that thing got eaten by it. We found an arm over there.” Mark said, brown hair mussed from it’s typical careful upsweep. He pointed towards a stack of boxes. Harry shook his head slightly and eased forward, wand to hand and a stunning spell on his lips.

Harry peered through the door, and made a quick assessment. He swore. The animal growled and began baying. Harry backed up quickly, cast a shield, and frantically cast about for anything. He knew of one way to subdue the beast, and his transfiguration skills for this particular bit was completely pants.

Something came to mind, he opened his mouth and started to sing his old school song, at the top of his voice, to the tune of “God Save the Queen.” Mark stared, open-mouthed before he started to snicker.

Harry glared, but kept singing, edging towards the door. He was mentally swearing at Hagrid, the Greeks, and whatever moron had thought it was a brilliant idea to import a gods-be-damned class five creature into the British Isles… again. As he sang he was reviewing what he knew about Cerberi. It wasn’t a ton, they were rare enough as it was, most people never even encountered one; but of course, with _his_ luck, he would run into a second one. The first one had damn near killed him his first year -- twice!

The beast settled back down. Harry kept singing, eyes glued to the blue-black fur, watching those golden eyes slide closed as all three heads slowly came to rest on the ground. The beast snored. Harry grimaced and switched from “Hogywarty Hogwarts” over to “Weasley is Our King”. 

He ignored the Slytherin drivel and belted out the Gryffindor version loud and proud, smile curving his lips as he sang it.

“Weasley is our King,  
Weasley is our King,  
He didn't let the Quaffle in!

Weasley is our King.  
Weasley can save anything,  
He never leaves a single ring,  
That's why Gryffindors all sing:  
Weasley is our King.”

Harry sucked in a breath as Mark landed on his side and howled with mirth. Harry slapped a silencing spell over the man with a deliberate wave of his hand. He took a breath. He couldn’t shake the national anthem from his head, so he went with it.

“God save our gracious Queen  
Long live our noble Queen  
God save the Queen  
Send her victorious  
Happy and glorious  
Long to reign over us  
God save the Queen!

O Lord our God arise  
Scatter her enemies  
And make them fall  
Confound their politics  
Frustrate their knavish tricks  
On Thee our hopes we fix  
God save us all

Thy choicest gifts in store  
On her be pleased to pour  
Long may she reign  
May she defend our laws  
And ever give us cause  
To sing with heart and voice  
God save the Queen!”

Harry risked a glance at Mark. The man was kneeling on the ground, howling with laughter. Harry grit his teeth. He knew from positioning that if he stopped singing the dog would wake and kill either him or Mark in a heartbeat.

“Mark! Get out of here!” Harry snapped before he switched his attention back to the Cerberus and started on “Frere Jacques”.

Harry saw Tom Jensen edge into the room, take in the situation, and then grab and drag Mark from the room. Harry heaved a sigh of relief and frantically cast around for another song. Severus would bloody well kill him when he found out about this one.

That gave him another song, and it was one that both he and Severus loved, even though it tugged at both of them. He went immediately to the chorus and smiled sadly.

“Hey Mrs. Potter don’t cry…”

Harry waved when he heard another crack of apparition. He glanced over and shook his head as he saw Department Green. Harry kept singing as his co-worker edged into view. He watched Leon get a good look at what they were dealing with and breathed a sigh of relief when the man conjured a large harp and set it to playing.

Harry stopped singing and traded a look with Leon who frowned. “How the hell are we going to get muzzles on that thing?”

Harry grimaced and winced when a leg kicked. A crate splintered. “Whatever way will lead to the least amount of death for all of us. It’s a man killer. This thing should have been 1237 alert green. Instead it was just a 1237. Morons.”

“Green?”

“They found an arm. Just an arm.” Harry said. Leon winced.

“Okay… um… Just an arm?” Harry nodded. Leon shuddered. Harry shook his head. Perhaps being a war veteran had its benefits. He didn’t lose his stomach at the sight of blood and gore.

Can you keep an eye on it? I don’t know if it wakes slowly or goes to instant attack mode, but I’ve got an idea. Where are we exactly, anyways?’

“Wiltshire.” Leon muttered. The dog rolled and both men held their breath. It remained asleep. Harry nodded and backed up two feet and cast a quick glamourie over his features before he turned on his heel and apparated out.

Harry hurried through Diagon, nodding politely, dodging people, thankful that the glamour held. He honestly didn’t give a fig that the charm was considered “dark”. It kept people off him while he was carrying out official duties. Harry watched an auror turn around and stared at him. Harry sighed and headed directly for the auror.

“Luke Rhys.” Harry murmured, nodding to the auror. He watched the man finger his wand. Harry offered his wand hand and the man took it, that would have locked most wizards or witches in place, since they needed their wands.

“I’m Harry Prince. Check with your Head Auror, I’ve got a dispensation to use the glamourie while on duty. And I’m on duty, dealing with a 1237 Alert: Green.”

“Prince. I won’t hold you up.” Luke muttered. Harry nodded his thanks, shook the man’s hand and then bee lined for the triple W.

Harry slipped through the door, watched Ron’s eyes narrow as he reached for his wand. Harry tapped the side of his nose and Ron paused as he came forward, gaze flicking to the children and the shelves. Harry knew Ron had palmed his wand. He stepped to the side and remained relaxed.

“What’s your business?” Ron asked, visage friendly, yet Harry felt the slight press of a wand against his side.

“Three Caramel Locks put them on my account. And they no longer explode if they are _engorio’d_ right? George did fix that?” Harry asked, not even dropping his eyes to the wand. Ron blinked.

“Harry?” Ron breathed. Harry nodded and turned his left hand palm down so that Ron could get a good look at the ‘I Must Not Tell Lies’ scar. Harry watched as the blue gaze flicked down.

“What’s the one thing Mio missed during that one year?” Ron muttered, wand not letting up.

“Peppermint tea. The one time we managed to get a packet or two she kissed me.” Harry muttered. Ron snorted, nodded and _accio’d_ the required candies. Harry shoved them into his pocket.

“Gotta run, I seriously have a flipping “Fluffy Situation”.” Harry griped, Ron swallowed and shook his head. Harry grinned and hummed a few bars of “Weasley is Our King” as he walked out with a wave.

Harry made his way back to the apparition point and turned on his heel, focused on the warehouse in Wiltshire. He landed with a thump and jumped back, shield spell spat out as large teeth clicked shut only inches from his face.

“What in the bloody hell?!”

"It woke up and ate the instrument."

“Oh perfect.” Harry muttered. He shoved his hand into the pocket he’d dropped the Caramel Locks and flung one at the dog, snapping out an engorgio charm as he did so. The candy enlarged and the dog predictably snapped its jaws shut on the treat. Harry repeated the process with the other two heads and sighed when the animal began whining and pawing at it’s mouths.

“All right, collars and muzzles?” Harry asked, already holding out his hand for the requested items. Leon gaped for a moment and then passed Harry two of the muzzles.

Once the Cerberus was restrained, Harry clipped a chain to the central ring and added the specialized portkey that would deposit the creature into an appropriately warded holding cell. He and Leon heaved sighs of relief.

“I'll stay behind and clean up, Harry. You get started on the paperwork, yeah?”

“Sure. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

Leon chuckled. “Just don’t call the aurors idiots, yeah?”

“I’ll try not to.” Harry murmured. He then turned on his heel and apparated.

* * *  
Harry filled out his report and filed it. He was nearly to the public floos when his boss’ voice stopped him. He turned and smiled. She held something in her hand and did not seem pleased. Harry blinked when the parchment was thrust under his nose.

Eyes widening, he skimmed it quickly.

“Blue form? Ron sent you a … bloody hell.” Harry muttered as he took the form for Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes and glared at it.

“Three Caramel Locks and three bottles of.. oh yeah, we’d better get that administered, posthaste or Hermione would have my hide.” Harry muttered before he spun around again, snagging his boss’ hand as a precaution. She merely glared before side along apparition pulled them from the Atrium.

“I sometimes forget who you are, Mr. Prince.” Madam Margolies responded as she staggered. Harry steadied her.

“Sorry. You do?”

“And then you pull a stunt like that. You aren’t _supposed_ to be able to apparate out of there like that.”

“Consider it a perk? One I rarely use, but I need to get this unsticky down this dog’s throat quickly.” Harry said, shoving his hand into his pocket and pulling out three dropper bottles. “Here, catch.”

 

His boss caught it as Harry lifted the warding on the Cerberus just enough to slip into the room. The animal made an effort to snarl.

“What… exactly are you doing?”

“Unsticking their jaws. They need to pant to regulate the body temperature of the creature. They are like dogs in that respect. With my engorio on the caramel… five drops maybe six to be safe.”

“How do you know it will work?”

“Because I once stuck Ron Weasley’s jaw shut for a three day period using this candy when I was annoyed with him?” Harry responded, carefully snagging a broom and kicking off. He balanced as though born to the skies and scooted close enough to the rumbling, snarling threat to add drops of the Unsticky to the far right head.

That head howled once it’s jaws were unstuck and tried to snap through the muzzle. Harry shifted the broom aside with ease and moved to the central head. He unstuck that one with the second bottle, and nodded as he saw his boss dart out of the way of the third head.

They landed together and he flashed her a quick smile. “I guess Quapot did come in useful, ma’am.”

“That it did, Mr. Prince. That it did. Now what were you _thinking_ feeding such a substance to a class five?”

“Ma’am, I’ve faced off against one in the past. I know probably better than anyone, other than Rubeus Hagrid, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger-Weasley or my own husband what that thing is capable of. For one, Hagrid trained me. The others? We all got on the wrong end of one of those monsters during my first year. It’s name was Fluffy.”

The woman just stared, blue eyes wide. Harry merely smiled. “You’ve been my boss for what… six months? You heard about my defeat of Voldemort, but everyone forgets about my school days. Unless you are my husband or my two best friends.”

“You… dealt with one of those things at age eleven? What type of school was Dumbledore running?”

“Eh, I think the Mountain Troll was more of an issue and we still managed to take it down, at age eleven. I killed a Basilisk at twelve with a sorting hat, Godric’s Sword, and a phoenix.”

 

“Ah. I see why so many of the other witches and wizards treat you differently.”

“And you don’t. You just point at a chair, tell me to sit, and start yelling. It’s rather refreshing, really. You and Severus are the only two that do. Well, aside from Hermione. She’s always been willing to do that.” Harry grinned. His boss shook her head.

“Yes. I guess I do. About that bill…”

“It worked.”

“That it did. So, you used a prank product to manage a class five dangerous creature.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“It worked with no ill effects?”

“Dog might drool green for a day? I didn’t ask if George had fixed that particular issue yet. But that’s only cosmetic. I promise.”

“How can you be so certain?”

“Back in my fourth year at Hogwarts, my Godfather got ahold of one of these while in his animagus form. Stuck his jaws together good. We had to pour in the potion. He was drooling green for the next day. Had fun slobbering all over the Twins while in canine form. That did _not_ wash out of cloth. At all.” Harry smiled fondly at the memory.

“Three of these prank products are only a few sickles each. I was just curious as to why you went to a joke shop over using anything we have on hand.”

“I tend to think outside the cauldron. I grew up muggle, ma’am. Tend to go for a non-magical solution before I reach for my wand. Not to mention Cerberi are impervious to most forms of magic. Including sleep spells. It’s why they’ve been used as guards in the past.”

“Very well. Thank you for your assistance on your day off, I hope you and your Husband enjoy the rest of the day.”

“Thank you, ma’am. I hope your day is at least somewhat calm?”

His boss chuckled and nodded. She escorted him to the floos and he vanished through the swirling green flames, headed for home.


End file.
